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Jenni

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ooh boy.. [Oct. 24th, 2007|10:17 am]
Jenni
hm.. well, i thought i came back once a year, looks like i dont really. 
working on my new website now.. re-learning HTML.. its great! (and im not being sarcastic either)

i have a dog now, Mateo. 
he's a bull terrier X jack russel
he is almost all white with a few black marks here and there (mostly on his ears) and he has one blue eye, one brown eye
he is mostly deaf, if not entirely.
i love him...
he is so absolutely CUTE!! >.<
ive been teaching him hand signals and he's been doing really well.
He is turning 2 in january around

hm...
me and josh are no longer together. that lasted almost two years
but it wasnt meant to be and in the end i just couldnt see myself marrying him. 
Our values didnt match up amongst other things.
So, i am living it up in the single life! ;)

i just started a new job, so i no longer work at dressew. 
i still miss it, because of the people and the stuff i could buy.. but it was time to move on and my new job is pretty awsome
i book whistler vacations mainly.
my title is travel consultant.. hahaha sounds pretty awsome, eh? 
its pretty good so far. i enjoy it..

me and sabi have moved in together, back to the place i lived at with matt before i moved in with josh (ya.. we ended up moving in together and it was actually really good!)
so its been good so far. very messy.. as we've both not settled in completely but are still carrying on as though we have hahaha
its good to live with other people again.. i really missed it
and i LOVE having my own room again!! ohman
i never realized how much i missed it..
but it really rocks to be able to decorate how i want, and to make a mess untill i cant stand it. lol

but anyways...
not much else.
i guess untill next year!
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the answer is 42 [Jul. 26th, 2005|09:29 pm]
Jenni
so that last guy i mentioned turned out to be a crack head
not literally... but i would not be suprised if he was. lol
ah.. note to self: no more sketchy raver boys

i have a new boy now; josh.
things are going really well (knock on wood) and we are going onto our 2nd month as offical.
something like 3 or 4 months unnofficial

job still sucks, but i will be quitting by the end of the year
im only staying right now because they are letting me book time off so i can go on.. (read next paragraph)

my very first big road trip. SHAMBALA!
im so excited!!!
my very first road trip.
i'll be going with josh matt and amanda =)
its basically a 3 day long hippy rave out in nelson which is something like a 12 hour drive from vancouver.
im so excited it hurts. lol

my step grandaddy karl died on july 16th.
RIP.
we had a nice family dinner with his family. it was good and more like a celebration of a life than a mourning
i liked it..
prolly because its easier to deal with than alot of sadness and tears..

i got a pap test and it came back saying that i had abnormal cells on my cervix
im getting laser surgery to remove them, but its kind of scary because thats how cancer starts..
but good news is that my heart is AOK. i use to have a heart murmer, but it seems ive outgrown it and now its ok.

watched hitchiker's guide to the galaxy the movie..
it was good, but did not do the book justice at all!

life is good right now.
and off i go again to live some more life and then i will be back to write about the bigger events.
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an entire year [Apr. 5th, 2005|07:24 pm]
Jenni
[mood |complacentcomplacent]
[music |nirvana - lithium [speed garage rmx]]

havnt posted in an entire year, and i just looked at the date and realized it was a year ON THE DOT
well. much has happened
much crap
much good things
rave now
meeting new people
had two boyfriends since i was last here.
daniel, who was a dick
pascal who was loverly, but i ended it recently.
still at my old job at dressew.
made it to second year, but am having difficulties passing by it. lol
moved out of my parents place.
lived with sabi in the dingy hole, finally moved to a full house with two roomates; matt and amanda

sex drugs and rave.

forget details, all that matters is im still alive ;)

school is going horribly. i hate fashion design, but im determined to finish my two years, even if it takes me three. lol

JUST met this new guy, luke. junglist/breaks/kandi at heart guy.
dont know how this one will turn out, but life is life

im glad to be alive even if sometimes people suck.
been updating much more in my semi private journal. if your important to me, you know the url.
if not, so sad, too bad.
[just realized ive a link to it somewhere here. hahahaha oh well. if you read it, too bad. not a word. anything i write there is private and if you choose to read it, so be it. but dont you dare use anything i write there against me!]

good bye for another long stretch of time everyone. i'll be back.
link1 comment|post comment

;| [Apr. 5th, 2004|01:25 pm]
Jenni
[music |the cure - more than this]

another chapter of my life coming to an end
im sorry i hurt you
and i dont know how to make it better.
and i wish with all my heart that you'll be ok in the end
and you will be.

the future is hazy, who knows what it will hold?
ah. cliche cr@p.
link4 comments|post comment

another? [Feb. 16th, 2004|02:18 am]
Jenni
so i will be updating www.jenni.oddrocket.com more often then here. check by often =) thanx!
linkpost comment

glowshoes!! [Feb. 2nd, 2004|03:20 am]
Jenni
[mood |draineddrained]
[music |Saves The Day - Wednesday the Third]

http://www.nomlasm.com/nomlasm3.html
jenni wants the top or second down pair. ARENT THEY SO COOL?
ya. you know they are and you all want a pair!
too bad my birthdays past. hah!
on another note, www.oddrocket.com IS ALL MINE. files can now be found under www.oddrocket.com/filehere instead of just a redirection url. its mine. all mines!!

and i just spent all day at shelly's doing homework (ugh) and cutting paper for THREE FREAKIN HOURS
but we got icecream
and sat in her hottub for a bit (yeeha! hot tubs are fun but creepy..)
but it was nice. =D
im tired. me an my late nights ^^

oh, and ive been listening to lots of 'saves the day' thanx to matt. there are about 4 songs i really like ^^ huzzah. i love music, but dont ever ask me about it.
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clubb [Feb. 1st, 2004|03:09 am]
Jenni
[mood |contentcontent]

jennies 2nd club was SHINE for this girl laura's 19th bday thing.
i actually had a good time, but everyone thinks i was bored out of mind.
i sat the entire time on the round thingies, drank nothing, didnt dance. but i watched.
i really enjoy watching people, looking at people, talking to people. i like feeling a heavy beat thump through my body and i doubt i will ever cease to be fascinated by the feeling.
the music was r&b, hiphop remix stuff that i didnt particularly like (esp when they had the live rappers and singers and such) but it was good nonetheless.

could this be the beginning of a love of clubs? i will have to try a rave. i think i would truly enjoy it in my own way..

i was also told i was the mellowest girl someone has ever met. mellow because i wasnt drunk off my arse bouncing around the room like tigger? mellow because i sat there truly content with just watching and observing and interacting rather than being an attraction?
haha, compared to the rest of the people, i was downright dead.

and while waiting in line, i noticed these three girls in front of me. all three underage. i knew because i went to elementary with one, and highschool with the rest of them.
they were in gr 8 when i was in gr 10. so that would mean they are in gr 11?
and they were drunk off their arses and it was HILARIOUS. and annoying because they kept falling and bumping me an my friend. ugh.

i think im becoming way too introverted and quiet for my own good.
but really, once you get to know me, i can get quite off the wall.. but i guess its the getting to know me part thats hard
but really, when i dont talk, it just means im listening or thinking or just plain enjoying your company. i dont have things to say all of the time, so i just dont speak
its not awkward for me, but i think that my silence or the silence makes the other person feel awkward.
i'm sorry
i dont mean to be awkward, and im really not a cold biatch.
but im trying to make small talk now. but it sounds lame in my head ;) but i'll get there.

and now im wired and thoughtful
link1 comment|post comment

icon [Jan. 28th, 2004|01:14 am]
Jenni
[mood |geekygeeky]
[music |Saves The Day - In My Waking Life]

been making icons for the town

and meeting new people

wishing i was there

and smiling
looking for
[Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<a [...] http://letterboxing.org/http://www.letterboxing.org/boxbyregion.asp?region>') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.]

been making <a href="http://www.icontown.net" target="new">icons for the town</a><br>
and <a href="http://www.purerave.com" target="new">meeting new people</a> <br>
wishing i was <a href="http://www.thesimpleway.org/love_dollars" target="new">there</a><br>
and <a href="http://www.dnalounge.com/backstage/atm/" target="new">smiling</a>
<a href="http://www.letterboxing.org/BoxByRegion.asp?region=British%20Columbia,%20CAN" target="new">looking</a> for <a href="href="http://letterboxing.org/http://www.letterboxing.org/BoxByRegion.asp?region=British%20Columbia,%20CAN" target="new">letterboxes</a>
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tangly mess [Jan. 24th, 2004|11:03 pm]
Jenni
im gonna make me a good wife!
today i sat downstairs in the sub basment of work, untangling bolts of trim from 9:30 - 4
it was great
it was quiet
it was tedius
but i was feeling lethargic, and thinking. even though it was king of hard to think when im trying to untangle something that looks as though it wouldn't get untangled unless you took a pair of scissors to it (which, i did in the end anyways)
but then by 12ish, i was sick of it.
but i stayed down there an untangled bolts, and i remember this story about a chinese matchmaker lady.

ok
so this old chinese matchmaker lady goes to this girls house to interview her an her mother. she thinks the girl is hopless, wont ever get a decent husband. and because she's sure this girl wont get a girl, she brings her needlework along just so she has something to do while she gets bored to death
she interview the girl, and this girl cant cook, cant sew, cant do donkeyjackbutt that a wife is suppose to do!
so then she gets to talking to the girls mother, and meanwhile, the girl plunks down her butt, and starts to untangle every tangled thing in the matchmaker's needlwork basket thingy
and she gets it done, and the matchmaker lady is like " WHOA!! this girls got patience!"
because with patience you can LEARN to sew and cook.
and thus,
she is fit for a great husband because she has so much patience, and patience is a good thing apparantly when it comes to husbands. haha

so the story didnt go quite like that, but that was a jenni edited version
so then i concluded: im gonna make me a wonderbar wife someday.
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my bedroom [Jan. 24th, 2004|01:04 am]
Jenni
went to shelly's house to do homework
and i love her bedroom
which has inspired me to move my bedroom to the living room once sabi moves out
WOO
im going to have a sink in my room. how.. intresting.
and i'll have a sewing room too. if sabi's room isnt cleared out enough, my old room can be my sewing room
and im going to have a new pet. maybe crickets..
=) i wonder how long they live for?
it'll be fun i think. having my room in the living room...
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going going gone.. [Jan. 23rd, 2004|03:38 pm]
Jenni
[mood |sedated]

sabi's moving out for sure now
we went to check out the place and im excited for her. sad for me
the landlady only lets girls live downstairs
and the ceiling is quite low
it's almost like a homestay, but without the food. (but even then, she brings them food time to time lol)
the landlady is so sweet ^^ she kind of reminds me of shawn's mommy a bit
so sabi gave her the damage deposit.
she's moving in on feb 15th

im going to be left alone downstairs now.. an thats scary.
im sad for me, but it's her life.
it's exciting too
but it's scary cus downstairs is freakin creepy
maybe my parents will let me have a dog or cat...

my fish died.
2 years old.. and he was suppose to only live for 3 months.
i thought i'd be happy when he died cus then i could get something else to put in the tank.. but im actually kind fo sad!
and now ive got no pet. i should think of something..
but not something i have to feed other live things to.!
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emotard [Jan. 21st, 2004|01:53 am]
Jenni
ya. im an emotard
but for the last few days, i felt like my world was crashing
(i know, arent i so dramatic??)

of course i knew somewhere in my heart
but i just needed to hear you say it in your own words (or should i say type? same thing in this day an age now isnt it?)
(see? i told you my wrath was fleeting..)

and then i had a brilliant moment where i realized that..
i might have my very own sewing room.
the entire downstairs would be mine

ok. n/m that it will be extremly lonely and creepy and dark and quiet....
i can put lights everywhere. an..
uh.. stuffies in every room.

also, in the midst of my angry and sad rantings, i forgot to mention i saw 'butterfly effect' on friday.
it was interesting. and its been making me think
it kind of scared me and im not sure if it was meant to be scary

i also got my first set of personalized checks! WOO how exciting =)
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left behind? [Jan. 16th, 2004|01:36 am]
Jenni
saw cold mountain
saw big fish
tonight
both were very excellent movies and i recomend both. (but not in the same night.. ive a headache now)
big fish was a better quality movie. a thinking movie. deeper, more profound.
where as cold mountain was definitly the.most.saddest.movie i have seen in the longest time. but definitly more.. mindless entertainment.
it was good.

and then its not good.
why is there so much drama?
why cant it just be left behind in highschool?
now its not like.. kid drama. its real life drama. and it sucks

sabi is seriously considering moving out
and
that makes me so sad

because it makes me think, is it so horrible here your going to do whatever you can to get out?
is there nothing here that makes you happy?
is it so bad that working your butt off to pay rent and everything and going to school full time at the same time is worth it?
and she tells me that she wants to try it all on her own.
freedom
i remember fighting for freedom (dont i sound old?)
but i was 12 fighting to be allowed to stay out one hour more to play hide and seek at night time.

and i just cant afford to move out. there is just no way i can pickup enough hours to pay for rent and school and the car and everything else AND do full time schooling.

i feel like im losing her. which is silly. but my feelings like to run amuck. and i can never make heads or tails of them anyways. so why try?

it makes me sad
that i cant move out with her
that she is so easily able to let go when i cant.
that she will be starting a life on her own that ..
what? im not a part of? she says i can come visit
is that still the same?


am i just jelous that she will be able to leave and i wont.

or sad that she is leaving without me.

i think its the 2nd one. but really.. what else was i expecting?

it hurts. someone make it stop.
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everybody wishes [Jan. 15th, 2004|01:24 am]
Jenni
[mood |sadsad]

went for dinner with shelly and cheryl
theyer both very nice.. and im glad that ive got friends (i am the lamest person, i know)
university is not what i had expected it to be like. but i think i am happy =)
i think i will genuinly be sad when this is all over, but i think i may only do two or three years here at kwantlen...
i would really love to learn metal working, photography and graphics design and perhaps textile printing
and if i ever have time, it would be nice to have the the chance to learn shoe making, carpentry, hair design, makeup, glass working and cooking.
gee...
i want to learn so much. but i have so little time/life
or i could just spend my entire lifetime in school. which isnt too bad of an idea..
because really..
who needs a career?

also, some of the girls in the program are *so* spoiled. its unbelievable
why??Collapse )

and everyone is so quick to judge... i really honestly thought that would be left behind me when i graudated higschool
but i guess its like drama
it doesnt leave?
and that sucks
i was dissillusioned that.. maybe it would end.
it also makes me think.. i wonder what they say about me? i hardly notice any of the things they chatter about. i wonder what else im missing?

i am also sad, because me an sabi are 'fighting'.
well, im not any longer
because im the kind of person that will rant, analyze it for a day, an then get it out of her system and it done with.
but i think sabi is upset still.
upset? for my posting about her in my lj? but she's posted about me before. and it is my journal...
for not understanding where she is coming from?
i think i understand: she doesnt want to pay for gas because she prolly feels she's not getting enough rides out of it to be of use to her. she's paying for her bus card. its a pain in the a$$ to ask me for rides, because sometimes i dont want to give her rides. she feels bad? (or am i giving myself too much credit here?)
and by my saying these 'bad' things about her, she feels she's not done anything right.
and i hate that she feels like that, because i always get so scared she'll get depressive again. or suicidal
and i dont wish to go through that again. it was the most emotionally taxing phase of my life. i hated seeing her depressed and not being able to do anything about it. and everytime daddy an mommy say something mean, or she goes against them, or they fight.
i worry
for her.

and it makes me sad
because i want to be here for her
but she says im not a very good listener. (im very blunt with my opinion, and sometimes she doesnt wish to here it..)
and so she sometimes doesnt come to me to talk
and that makes me very very sad.
because im here for her. and when/if her an arthur done work out, or if they have a really big fight. im going to be here for her.
her faithful little jenni
if she ever seriously asked me to, i'd probolly follow her around the world
but i know that she wont be here for me every time i need her
she wants to move out. she wants to travel the world
and i am still clinging to her.
but thats not her fault. but mine, because i keep wishing she was a little bit more like me? selfish i know. but i think that everyone and anyone cannot help but wish that of another person sometime in their life.

and it probolly helps that she is outgoing anf friendly and easy to get along with
and i am almost the complete opposite. i am not saying that i am hopeless, but i am not as easy to get along with i think. i dont make friends as readily as she does..
and thats ok. because im happy like that.
but she always has somebody around her. and 'somebody' doesnt always include me.

she is a bit self centered. but everyone is. and maybe i am only hopeing that i would be important enough to her that i'd be included in that 'center'.

so those are my problems. and it makes me sad. boo f'n hoo, hey?
self pity will get me places like the middle of an ocean with no floatation devices

i think me and sabi fight about 5 times a year. maybe even less.
and i dont think i have ever ranted or said bad things about her to the public.. though really. its none of your business, or that you'd really care..
but everyone always says to not let it bottle up.

but anyways, i miss my sabi.
my bestfriend.
hah. maybe i am hopeless.
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#^%$#%^! [Jan. 13th, 2004|10:36 pm]
Jenni
[mood |annoyedannoyed]

i hate it when sabi forgets to tell me she needs a ride
i really dont mind giving her rides.
but i absolutly hate it when i come home after classes from 8:30am - 7pm ready to relax and do my homework uninterupted
only to find out, from my parents, that sabi needs a ride
and i hate having to drop everything im doing so that she can have a ride.
and obviously i dont want my sister to have to bus home at night with creepy guys. so i dont MIND giving her a ride because of that
i just hate how she asks for rides at the most lamest times. because i have to stop what im doing to give her a ride.
and i dont have much free time anyways, so it's my time too.
and she tells me that i dont have to give her a ride.
no, i know that i dont have to.
but if im going to, at least warn me an advance so i know

and just now she said she wont be paying for gas on the car to help offset the cost. because im going to take over the insurance as soon as thise one runs out.
and thats gonna set me back at least 120$ per month.
plus gas.
plus my parking pass per semester
thats freakin expensive.
and i have a saturday job + my student loan + full time school = no time, no money
dont get me wrong, i can afford it (barely, with 20$ to spare per month), but its so f^cking annoying
and although i was mostly ready to pay for this, the thing that finally made up my mind in the end was that sabi said she'd pay for gas at least and i'd give her rides

and now shes telling me she wont be paying for gas

but i know i'll be picking her up at night because it would be mean to make her bus home when i can perfectly well give her a ride
and what kind of sister would i be if i didnt just give her a ride 1 hour earlier than i have to leave anyways on wednesdays??

im so mad and annoyed and there is really nothing i can demand or say to her. because really, i cant force her to pay for gas. i cant force her to take the bus at night. i cant force her to remind me when i have to give her rides.

but i can sure as hell get #!*$@&^$*(#! mad.

and i also hate that arthur takes up every spare waking moment she has
she gets almost obsessive.
and it bugs the heck out of me when she's giggling away in her bedroom at 1am in the morning (or even later!)
i like the guy, dont get me wrong
but i hate how everything revolves around arthur for her right now
i havnt talked to her for a while. school. work. arthur. all get in the way
and she wants to move out
i want to too, but how the freak are you going to afford that??

ugh
AND she cancled plans for thursday night cus we were gonna go see two movies with her an arthur. and now arthur cant go
and she's cancelling
i was originally going to go with shawn to see one movie anyways, so fine.
but i just hate how she cancels plans all because of arthur.
or. i just hate how she cancels at all.


whenever she pleases.
and i hate that i love her this much to care wether or not she has to bus.

she makes me sad too.

that was my rant for the month.
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